I'm not insane. The report even said so. The report is meant to be confidential to the client, but I don't particularly mind, so the report is located here if anyone wants to read it. That'll prove my sanity.
I need to talk to Isuzu-wan. She'll know what to do. She's a lot smarter than she let's on, after all. We're talking about a girl who hasn't ever lost a match in her entire career.
I'm not going insane. I can't be. Physical diseases of a capsuleer could be easily fixed by simply getting a new clone. Mental diseases, even, could be fixed if they were caused biologically rather than neurotically.
I entered Woof Woof Paradise and told the attendant. "I need a table for one. I'd like Isuzu-wan as my waitress."
"Alright, the wait is going to be... 30 minutes, and the price for selection of a specific waitress is 30 cash."
Cash...? Oh, as I recall, non-capsuleers used micro-transactions of ISK. I couldn't be bothered to remember the conversion rate, so instead I just handed over 30 ISK.
The attendant's eyes widened. "Sir, this is way too---"
I interrupted her. "Just keep it. It's not that much to me."
"Yes, sir!"
After waiting a good hour longer than the wait time specified, Isuzu-wan finally came to my table.
"Oh no!" She exclaimed. "Is it time for Operation Yrgil already?!"
I grinned. She was the only one who ever understood my fantasies. "Yes. The day of forthcoming has arrived. Have you prepared adequately yourself?"
"I just mastered the Asahkeh Trip-wan!"
I drew back, startled. "No way! You've already mastered that technique?!"
"Yes~!" Isuzu-wan pawed at me. "I went to the far-off reaches of Cat, and trained against the vicious predators there to perfect my combat abilities desu-wan!"
"I see. Then it is only a matter of time before the empires lose their powers."
"You don't mean---?"
"I do."
"But, Takashi, I can't unveil my powers just yet! New Eden isn't ready for me yet; I must remain in hiding!"
"Ah, I see. Well, then, I suppose it can't be helped." I pulled my phone out and put it to my ear. "Yes. It's me. The Organization has made their move. Yes, requesting immediate assistance. Understood, sir. El. Psy. Congroo." I put my phone away and laughed magnificently at the plan of the Organization I just foiled.
"What can I get for you, Master-wan?"
"Just some melon bread and carbonated grape juice, thanks."
"Yes, Master-wan!"
She eventually came back to the table with my food.
"There you are!" She said. "So, where have you gone to recently? Find any good salvage? Claim some bounties?"
I paused a moment. It seems that for whatever reason, in this version of the universe, I still ditched mining and moved on to missioning. As I recall, I switched to missioning because of what Madame Sass said, but for whatever reason I switched to missioning here as well. "U-uh, yeah." I said. "I'm missioning with the Sisters of Eve now."
"Hehhh? You aren't planning on ditching me and becoming a hermit in Thera, are you-wan...?"
I smiled and scratched the back of my head nervously. "N-no, that's not it."
"Then what about them appeals to you?"
I sighed. "Look, Isuzu-wan, as much I'd like to idly chat with you, there's actually stuff I need to ask you about."
Isuzu-wan looked to the ceiling and raised her hand, waving it across as if to draw the attention of a crowd, although it was directed to noone in particular. "Yes, I can see it now... 'Great and magnificent capsuleer admits defeat and surrenders to the Princess of Maids, Isuzu-wan!' across the headlines! What do you think, hm?" Isuzu-wan pawed at me again seductively.
"Look," I said, holding back a grin. "This is serious. I need your help. I don't know what's what anymore, and you're the only one I can confide in."
Isuzu-wan "What's the problem-wan?" Even when she made serious conversations, habit forced her to add "-wan" to the end of sentences.
"Ahh..." I thought to myself. "Where do I start...?"
I paused a moment. "Several months ago, I rescued an Amarrian pilot from forced labor and prostitution. Her name was Kasurin Makise. Does that ring any bells?"
I could tell by her subsequent absent-minded blinking that it did not.
I sighed again. "I thought not."
"So who is this woman desu-wan?"
"Imagine this. You are in a world, living perfectly normal, when---"
"Isuzu-wan lives a life that is anything but normal-wan!" Isuzu-wan used her secret technique, Pawprint Echo. I was so focused on my explanation though that even I was able to ignore it.
"---when you wake up the next day, and all of a sudden you're in a completely different world."
"Isuzu-wan does as such all the time-wan! Isuzu-wan lives and breathes for a life of variety~!"
"No, I don't mean that in a literal sense. On this other world, complete strangers treat you as best buddies, and the friends you do know quite well say that they've never met you before."
Isuzu-wan blinks. "And?"
"What would you do? Pursue the past you know of, or assume it was all a hallucination and move forward to the future?"
Isuzu-wan put her finger to her lip, thinking. "Hmmm... Well, Isuzu-wan would follow her gut feelings and go with what she knows is true!"
"But how do you do that?"
Isuzu-wan looked up to the window with a thoughtful look on her face. "A lot of people have taken to the expression 'Aim for the Moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.' A silly expression if you ask me-wan! I mean, we're already among the stars! ...Does that mean our ancestors missed the mark-wan?" She paused a moment pondering her own question. "Anyways, that's not the point-wan. That follows a brute-force trial-until-success motto. In reality, it is anything but that. Anything can be calculated. Even when there seems to be no way out, there always is. That's why my win record in Trans-net Access Fighters is flawless."
"Yeah, but how does that---"
"My point-wan, is that if you truly trace back each and every step that you took that day that your world supposedly changed, you will find the root cause of the problem. Nothing happens without reason-wan! If something happens, rest assured, something caused it, whether it was dozens of light-years away in NullSec or just meters away in HighSec. You're job-wan..." She poked me. "Is to find out what caused it. Only then, do you have any chance of reversing it."
I thought for a moment. I'd have to look up any data I had left of what happened on that day. The cameras usually delete film after a week or two, so I might have to reconstruct what happened without that. Still, it was a starting point. Much more progress than I'd have made on my own. I grinned and stood up. "Thanks."
"Just doing my job-wan~!! Always happy to help any customer, especially you, Takashiii!" She got up real close to me and jumped up subtly such that her cleavage would shuffle and stand out.
I grinned against my will and left a healthy tip for her.
"Come again, Rin-Rin!" She said as I left the store. Rin-Rin, I thought. That must be her newest nickname for me, I guess. I still don't know how she manages to memorize so many nicknames of so many regular customers without mixing any up.
I boarded my ship. There was work to do, and it wasn't going to complete itself.
"Alright, the wait is going to be... 30 minutes, and the price for selection of a specific waitress is 30 cash."
Cash...? Oh, as I recall, non-capsuleers used micro-transactions of ISK. I couldn't be bothered to remember the conversion rate, so instead I just handed over 30 ISK.
The attendant's eyes widened. "Sir, this is way too---"
I interrupted her. "Just keep it. It's not that much to me."
"Yes, sir!"
After waiting a good hour longer than the wait time specified, Isuzu-wan finally came to my table.
"Oh no!" She exclaimed. "Is it time for Operation Yrgil already?!"
I grinned. She was the only one who ever understood my fantasies. "Yes. The day of forthcoming has arrived. Have you prepared adequately yourself?"
"I just mastered the Asahkeh Trip-wan!"
I drew back, startled. "No way! You've already mastered that technique?!"
"Yes~!" Isuzu-wan pawed at me. "I went to the far-off reaches of Cat, and trained against the vicious predators there to perfect my combat abilities desu-wan!"
"I see. Then it is only a matter of time before the empires lose their powers."
"You don't mean---?"
"I do."
"But, Takashi, I can't unveil my powers just yet! New Eden isn't ready for me yet; I must remain in hiding!"
"Ah, I see. Well, then, I suppose it can't be helped." I pulled my phone out and put it to my ear. "Yes. It's me. The Organization has made their move. Yes, requesting immediate assistance. Understood, sir. El. Psy. Congroo." I put my phone away and laughed magnificently at the plan of the Organization I just foiled.
"What can I get for you, Master-wan?"
"Just some melon bread and carbonated grape juice, thanks."
"Yes, Master-wan!"
She eventually came back to the table with my food.
"There you are!" She said. "So, where have you gone to recently? Find any good salvage? Claim some bounties?"
I paused a moment. It seems that for whatever reason, in this version of the universe, I still ditched mining and moved on to missioning. As I recall, I switched to missioning because of what Madame Sass said, but for whatever reason I switched to missioning here as well. "U-uh, yeah." I said. "I'm missioning with the Sisters of Eve now."
"Hehhh? You aren't planning on ditching me and becoming a hermit in Thera, are you-wan...?"
I smiled and scratched the back of my head nervously. "N-no, that's not it."
"Then what about them appeals to you?"
I sighed. "Look, Isuzu-wan, as much I'd like to idly chat with you, there's actually stuff I need to ask you about."
Isuzu-wan looked to the ceiling and raised her hand, waving it across as if to draw the attention of a crowd, although it was directed to noone in particular. "Yes, I can see it now... 'Great and magnificent capsuleer admits defeat and surrenders to the Princess of Maids, Isuzu-wan!' across the headlines! What do you think, hm?" Isuzu-wan pawed at me again seductively.
"Look," I said, holding back a grin. "This is serious. I need your help. I don't know what's what anymore, and you're the only one I can confide in."
Isuzu-wan "What's the problem-wan?" Even when she made serious conversations, habit forced her to add "-wan" to the end of sentences.
"Ahh..." I thought to myself. "Where do I start...?"
I paused a moment. "Several months ago, I rescued an Amarrian pilot from forced labor and prostitution. Her name was Kasurin Makise. Does that ring any bells?"
I could tell by her subsequent absent-minded blinking that it did not.
I sighed again. "I thought not."
"So who is this woman desu-wan?"
"Imagine this. You are in a world, living perfectly normal, when---"
"Isuzu-wan lives a life that is anything but normal-wan!" Isuzu-wan used her secret technique, Pawprint Echo. I was so focused on my explanation though that even I was able to ignore it.
"---when you wake up the next day, and all of a sudden you're in a completely different world."
"Isuzu-wan does as such all the time-wan! Isuzu-wan lives and breathes for a life of variety~!"
"No, I don't mean that in a literal sense. On this other world, complete strangers treat you as best buddies, and the friends you do know quite well say that they've never met you before."
Isuzu-wan blinks. "And?"
"What would you do? Pursue the past you know of, or assume it was all a hallucination and move forward to the future?"
Isuzu-wan put her finger to her lip, thinking. "Hmmm... Well, Isuzu-wan would follow her gut feelings and go with what she knows is true!"
"But how do you do that?"
Isuzu-wan looked up to the window with a thoughtful look on her face. "A lot of people have taken to the expression 'Aim for the Moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.' A silly expression if you ask me-wan! I mean, we're already among the stars! ...Does that mean our ancestors missed the mark-wan?" She paused a moment pondering her own question. "Anyways, that's not the point-wan. That follows a brute-force trial-until-success motto. In reality, it is anything but that. Anything can be calculated. Even when there seems to be no way out, there always is. That's why my win record in Trans-net Access Fighters is flawless."
"Yeah, but how does that---"
"My point-wan, is that if you truly trace back each and every step that you took that day that your world supposedly changed, you will find the root cause of the problem. Nothing happens without reason-wan! If something happens, rest assured, something caused it, whether it was dozens of light-years away in NullSec or just meters away in HighSec. You're job-wan..." She poked me. "Is to find out what caused it. Only then, do you have any chance of reversing it."
I thought for a moment. I'd have to look up any data I had left of what happened on that day. The cameras usually delete film after a week or two, so I might have to reconstruct what happened without that. Still, it was a starting point. Much more progress than I'd have made on my own. I grinned and stood up. "Thanks."
"Just doing my job-wan~!! Always happy to help any customer, especially you, Takashiii!" She got up real close to me and jumped up subtly such that her cleavage would shuffle and stand out.
I grinned against my will and left a healthy tip for her.
"Come again, Rin-Rin!" She said as I left the store. Rin-Rin, I thought. That must be her newest nickname for me, I guess. I still don't know how she manages to memorize so many nicknames of so many regular customers without mixing any up.
I boarded my ship. There was work to do, and it wasn't going to complete itself.
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